Once again I start my blog by apologising for not writing one in a while. Last time, though, I kept constantly uploading photos to my facebook and was out everyday taking photos. Lately, I haven't been able to maintain any of it. I'm not taking the site down, and I sure as hell haven't given up photography. In short:
My lease ends in 2 weeks. My last semester ends in 3. My trip to Cambodia starts in 4. I'm bound down by cleaning and packing up the place I've called home for the last 2 years of my life. I've gained weight, haven't made a meal at home in weeks, been upset, frustrated, tired. I average 3 hours of sleep and make up for it by drowning in coffee and an extra 30 minutes of sleep on the train.
Theres so many things to tackle that it's absurdly overwhelming. I'm drained. I haven't spent quality time with my camera in a good few weeks. But I have been able to spend quality time with the people I need to be with right now.
Instead of filling in the cracks of free time I've had over the last weeks with my camera, I've been filling it in with hours at a chain all-you-can-eat steak restaurant, downing cafe lattes talking to the most amazing girl in the world about life. Or sitting in my bed eating grocery-store ramen with her at midnight. I've been trying to talk to more people who always considered themselves my friends, but I never even knew they thought anything of me. I've been making up for lost time with my best friend in California over Skype.
I know I have these goals of where I want to be with photography and this website... but I can't focus on them now. I keep telling my self to keep progressing, but I focused all that progress on photography and none of it on my health or friendships. The next blog post is planned for 2 weeks from now. It's going to be long, deeply personal and probably pretty difficult for me to write. Until that comes out, I'm thinking to upload many of my older photos to facebook and instagram for the next 2 weeks.
Anyways, I would have liked to made this article more about the people who are helping me as I try to get everything squared away, but a midnight blog post wouldn't do them justice. Anyways, to my girlfriend, her family (who ironically can't read this since it's in English), and everyone who knows damn well they're on this list... thank you. Your being here in itself is a massive weight lifted off of me.